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Caption Contest #2: High & Mighty Tighty Whities

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Last week while walking through the wilds of Williamsburg, I passed this.  Just like last time, it needs a caption. Bad. Please leave yours.
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This round's winning caption receives a copy of Marc Johns' righteous book of illustrations, "Serious Drawings." As always, you are free to submit as many captions as your noodle can pop out. I'll announce the winner Thursday, July, 2nd. Update (7/2): This was a really hard decision, because there's a ton of solid gold in the comments. Jeff Hardin takes the win with: "Prison dwarf tossing FAIL," which actually made me spit coffee when I read it.
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38 Comments

Jun 25, 2009
Credit Union Warrior said...
"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose."
Jun 25, 2009
Denise Wymore said...
Back Alley Vasectomy
Jun 25, 2009
Larry said...
Mondays.
Jun 25, 2009
Ron Shevlin said...
"I'm just damn glad I didn't STEP on that barbed wire."
Jun 25, 2009
Lauren Losak said...
"Invisible man gets caught in barbed wire fence, mid-wedgie."
Jun 25, 2009
Larry said...
Donny really regreted limiting himself to just the shirt and underwear for today.
Jun 25, 2009
Christopher said...
Somewhere Lenny thought to himself, "Well, the good news is I escaped from prison. Bad news is I'm naked as a jailbird."
Jun 25, 2009
Larry said...
Hey look at that flower!
Jun 25, 2009
Ron Shevlin said...
Faced with scientific proof that male enhancement pills didn't work, Bob resorted to other tactics in order to impress the ladies.
Jun 25, 2009
Denise Wymore said...
"I'm out there Jerry and I'm LOVIN' it!"
Jun 25, 2009
Denise Wymore said...
"Gang member's clothes line."
Jun 25, 2009
Jimmy Marks said...
That razor wire really hit the skids.
Jun 25, 2009
Jeff Hardin said...
Upon his recapture, Earl was immediately charged with felonious wearing of white after Labor day.
Jun 25, 2009
Jeff Hardin said...
Prison dwarf tossing FAIL.
Jun 25, 2009
Christopher Stevenson said...
The part of Guys Backflip Into Jeans you didn't see.
Jun 25, 2009
Christopher Stevenson said...
Explanatory note for my previous comment: See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pShf2VuAu_Q
Jun 25, 2009
Larry said...
The worst part is the pool of rubbing alcohol on the other side.
Jun 25, 2009
Jimmy Marks said...
The scene:

A guy, Judd, tries to escape an insane asylum while pursued by an orderly. In the process, he loses all his clothes.

Judd, to Orderly: "I'm telling you, I'm not crazy!"
Orderly: "Please, I can plainly see yer nuts."

Jun 25, 2009
Matt Vance said...
Better to have loved and lost your tighty whities than never to have loved at all.
Jun 25, 2009
Jovanna said...
Saving Private Fruit of the Loom
Jun 25, 2009
Cheryl said...
ironically, the razor wire did more to harm Johnny's chances of future fertility than the constrictive nature of his tighty whities ever did
Jun 25, 2009
Cheryl said...
The Inaugural Flight of the Backyard Human Catapult:

helmet for safety: check
tighty whities for aerodynamic efficiency: check
point away from the neighbor's razor wire fence: ..aw $#%^

Jun 25, 2009
Credit Union Warrior said...
During a momentary lapse in judgement, Michael Vick's agent reasoned that it would be a nice gesture for his client to "give back" by volunteering at a local animal shelter. Sparky, the happy-go-lucky rotweiler, agreed.
Jun 25, 2009
Matt Vance said...
The Dark Side of the Moon
Jun 25, 2009
GeorgeH said...
Governor Sanford's undies were discovered on the border of the Appalachian Trail and Argentina, today.
Jun 25, 2009
Ryan said...
New meaning to the high and tight....
Jun 25, 2009
Drew Dixon said...
"Wale Annie-Mae, I werz tryin' ter werk on the roof o' tha dubble wide, but I cood hardly get arayound" said Billy-Bob explaining why there was still a leak in the ceiling.
Jun 25, 2009
Jeff Hardin said...
"Look what we've got our Hanes on now."
Jun 26, 2009
becky bailey said...
good think he didn't wear boxer briefs...might've lost a leg.
Jun 26, 2009
Denise Wymore said...
"Blood, Sweat and Tears."
Jun 26, 2009
Ron Shevlin said...
Hilary's surprise visit to Bill's office in Harlem didn't go as planned.
Jun 29, 2009
Brent Dixon said...
I love you guys like I love not having my underwear snagged on razorwire.

That's not a caption, just a statement. These are fantastic.

Jun 29, 2009
Tim McAlpine said...
On Craig's List:

Lost: Favorite pair of white briefs. Details hazzy. Believe they were lost in Williamsburg. Remember tequila, pitbull, midget and razor wire. Please respond privately.

Jun 29, 2009
Jason Harrison said...
The barbed wire now only had to wait. His perfectly set trap of old, red athletic t-shirt, "gently used" tighty whities, and jeans pocket would surely be the thing to nab him a Bubba that wandered by.
Jun 29, 2009
James Robert Lay said...
Walkin' through the hood with a glock in my waste band, a rolley on my wrist and a 40 in my hand,

I stop and look up and what do i do i see, somebody's nappy stained undies just starin' at me

This puzzles me so i stop and take some time to think, i raise my 40 high for another drink

Then i take a step back, look up and down the block, something blowin' in the wind, there i am standin' in my socks

What has happened, how could it be, those nappy stained undies belong to me.

Jun 30, 2009
Andy said...
~Although a rabid NASCAR fan, Cletus was still unclear about the whole "drafting" concept.

~Looks like Simple Jack now has not one but two new BlackBerries.

~The E! True Hollywood Story: "It's a Gas, Gas, Gas: The Rise and Fall of Jumpin" Jack Flash"

~"You've been hit by/you've been struck by/a Smooth Criminal." (RIP, M. Jackson)

~We now know who wears short shorts.

Jun 30, 2009
Nicole Hinken said...
Does this barbed wire make my butt look big?
Jul 01, 2009
Shawna said...
Dare. Double Dare. Physical Challenge.

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